Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come


when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other's welcome,



and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you



all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,



the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

The Way We Are...

Bell Hooks "When Angels Speak of Love"

Perception...


i'll color u blue, my friend



and u color me yellow...



And maybe we can become the blades of green grass from which



our children shall thrive...



So when i bring my whole self to the table



and u bring me ur whole self...



Together we will build our nest on a sacred full love...


Reality...


i will color you blue...



Because blue is what my heart exudes



not that I no longer know you...



i'll place pretend angels around your head



wishing that this idealized perception could somehow fit this reality...


the way we are...


Today...



i'll remember our evolution



as if our relationship never digressesd or dissipated



into the heartache that it is today...



i'll color u Blue...


Akua

The Ambivalent Gemini is usually a GENIUS ♥

Ye...

Most of "us" have learned how to in fact wear our masks. To hide our true selves, our thoughts and not upset or disturb the status quo (well, not unless the masses our behind us). However you haven't, and although I think a little more tack could go a long way in your truth telling, I do respect your honesty, your open way of giving yourself, because most of us mere mortals (including myself) lack the courage to speak out so overtly and do it so brazenly! You will be persecuted for your blantant disregard of social conformity, but then all the GREAT ones are... Just know that my grandbabies will know your music, and it will stand right there along with the Gil-Scott Herons, Last Poets, Billie Holidays, and Rolling Stones of our day. You are our generation's Haki Madhubuti. Speak brotha... SPEAK! Your creativity, your integrity, and the honesty of what your music brings to one's soul will never die!

I see you Chi-Town, and I absolutely LOVE IT! Keep Bangin'!

Akua

For the One I can't remember to forget...

Lucky You

404-764-7325...


My fingers still know your name...
Still remember how seven neon buttons could be like new breath...


How is it that eventhough so many years have passed us by,
So many others have planted themselves in the soil of our existence...
Grown their limbs beside us, and entwined their roots in our most sacred of spaces....


How come...


After him, and him, and them, and you, and us...
And all the numerous inconsitencies in between...


I still remember you?


7... 7...64... 7... 3... 25


Damn...


Don't get it twisted "boo"...
You were simply the first,
and that is all...


Luv Her

Reflection #1114

Just the other day,
I finally remembered what I already knew...
That you can't  just jump over it,
You must go through it...

And...

It's gon' be alright...

Because there is nothing on my side of the Earth quite like this...

Cloudy with a Moderate Chance of Showers...

I am here...
Writing my life...

Because I want to forget,
and I want to remember...
Because I want to overstand love,
And because I m apathetic to it all...

I used to live in a room full of mirrors,
All I could see was myself...

It's broken now...
LuvHer

Cancer Sticks and You

You were beautiful...
Your locs like fingers...
Long, effervescent...
Dancing with me...
Absolutely exquisite...

You reached in and pulled out my best,
And I would watch you take low puffs of cancer in and out your aquiline nose
wondering whether it was part of the "European" in you...
The part you seemed so indifferent to,
That you wished did not exist...

And now it is me,
Inhaling Cancer in and through my lungs...
Wondering why we were there...
Why it had to be us...
Without you here to look,
Perk your lips into that awkwardly beautiful half-smile,
And ponder me...

LuvHer

Will ♥ ♥ ♥ Ever Know Me...

"Its so crazy... I got everything in the world figured out, but I can't seem to find what REAL LOVE is about..." Kanye West



Lately...

I've been pondering the idea of what it means to clasp hands in public places and
carry on conversations questioning Barack's foreign policies, and tensions in Palenstine...
Been wanting to run my fingers through rough tangled curls on smooth brown skin...
Sat back and actually contemplated the possibility of butterflies fluttering in the pit of my stomach... Jumping up and leaping forth from my mouth as I speak in his direction...



Lately...

On some not too isolated humid night, when its raining or when its sunny, and its as if God herself is smiling down on me, hot and bursting with light... or when I come from some workout watching dreamy eyed folks walk hand in hand with no knowledge of anyone else outside of each other...Their gait and their hearts beating in the same weird syncopation... Hands clasped and smiling... For they're beyond the world I live in... floating pass me on some invisible cloud of which I can only hope for...



And Lately...

Because "lately keeps" happening all the time in moments such as these... I stand there humbly, my feet firmly affixed to the ground watching lovers saunter over dirty asphault as if its a ballroom dance floor, I become completely aware of my reality and my singularity in it; and I began pondering what it must feel like...



What it must really feel like... To be in LOVE...



Gee, I wish I knew... :-( / :-)



Akua

Bringing a Little of the Old to the New...

My facebook page has been defunct for a year now. I got off because I was going through some major turmoil in my life and needed to escape from the one place I was so used to entertaining and being entertained by: The world. I needed some solitude, and a moment to be away; never thinking that my temporary hiatus would turn into an indefinite silence. I've let it go, and suprisingly I don't miss the social voyuerism aspect of it in the least. It's nice not to know what such and such is doing, reading line for line, surveying new photos with awe and cyber text; it actually gives you the oppurtunity to do the forgotten, call and hear a voice for hours, to engage in the act of physically placing your arms around someone in that forgotten embrace none as a hug... I've come to the realization that I was so caught up in the cyber matrix, that I forgot that life wasn't just about "lol's", "gtfoh's", and "im's". It was time to embrace life again, hold on wide-eyed to long authentic discussions and explorations into the heart. Im at a place in my existence where I don't want the world to know my name, see my face, I have no need to have people ponder over me anymore, my narcissitic days are over... And boy did I have some...

I just want those who need to know me, to know my heart, understanding that I am human, and thus inextricably flawed, but dammit I'm trying my best...  To be better, to be more authentic, to correct the worst in me. So in the next couple of posts, I may share some of my old writings off of FB, the ones that express some of the thoughts I discuss in this blog... The ones which still have  meaning and hold substance in my now little, isolated, miniscule world; My small piece of sanity and sanctity called Life...

Akua

My Brethren, My Sun... Bae...

Akua, One of many Recovering Undercover Over Lovers...

My Brethren...
I was there before before...
I saw your spirit in the rising of the Sun,
breathing, panting, cascading over unto my damp bossom...
Heavy with our tears... Soaked in our love...


My Sun...
Surely you were meant to reflect yours rays
on the coolness of my midnight marauder skin...

Flowing like Heaven, upstream like the Nile...
We were made to reflect the light of each other,
You see, it was written before before...


Bae...
How your spirit moves up and out of me...
Through me...
I finally understand the fullness of this...


Of You...


Of I...  


Us...

A Cool, Tall, Glass of Water...

Black Men: They make me smile with my heart...

Book worms are Sexy...

The quickest way to my heart is a book... Well, not totally, but in my experiences, readers do have a knack for intriguing conversations and verbal combat. Both of which drive me insane in a good way, and I do adore a man with intellect, a desire to know, and a willingness to earnestly understand.... For I feel those things are inherent in myself... Mmmmph, what dreams are made of... I'm hoping to one day get a chance to tell HIM "That I've never seen someone so sexy with a book."


She is...


Coffee House Swinger's "Bookworm"

Wedding Bells and the Summer Time: A Match Made in Heaven...

Carla Thulani, Vernita Akua, and MRS. Tammie Boston!

There is something about the brightness of the Summer time. How it leans over and kisses your brows with sweat. The heightened sense of freedom, as if freedom is only reserved for the presense of the hottest days; The sun shining brightly, and piercing the hearts of us mere mortals. And it has been on one of these all too familiar sunny Summer days, that several of my cousins and friends have made the ultimate commitment, the commitment to be forever connected to their bethrothed. July in particular has been good to my relatives; Three weddings, in three weeks! It's Love, and even my usual cynical self cannot deny the good intentions that are two souls who have finally found a puzzle that fits. Clasped auburn hands, a slight hand on the small of one's back, the awareness that there is another presence always there, that you are not alone. My heart pummels over itself , for its rather difficult for me to see myself connected to any being save for God. For the Creator is the only entity I fully and willingly trust... but then such prodding bares the question how can I say I overtly love God, and not be open to see the manifestation of that in the human form? I don't know, maybe in time the truth will be revealed to me, but for now, I will be content with the super nova that is the Sun. Merry myself with daydreams filled with the warmness  that comes from being in sync with someone who mirrors you. Content with the idea that surely, if my family members and friends can see its relevance, maybe perhaps, one day I will too... Congratuations to Tammie, "Fat", Phillip, and Kasha, may you have many more enlightening days with your bethrothed, and may the LOVE grow, Grow, and GROW!


She is...