Because there is nothing on my side of the Earth quite like this...

Cloudy with a Moderate Chance of Showers...

I am here...
Writing my life...

Because I want to forget,
and I want to remember...
Because I want to overstand love,
And because I m apathetic to it all...

I used to live in a room full of mirrors,
All I could see was myself...

It's broken now...
LuvHer

Cancer Sticks and You

You were beautiful...
Your locs like fingers...
Long, effervescent...
Dancing with me...
Absolutely exquisite...

You reached in and pulled out my best,
And I would watch you take low puffs of cancer in and out your aquiline nose
wondering whether it was part of the "European" in you...
The part you seemed so indifferent to,
That you wished did not exist...

And now it is me,
Inhaling Cancer in and through my lungs...
Wondering why we were there...
Why it had to be us...
Without you here to look,
Perk your lips into that awkwardly beautiful half-smile,
And ponder me...

LuvHer

Will ♥ ♥ ♥ Ever Know Me...

"Its so crazy... I got everything in the world figured out, but I can't seem to find what REAL LOVE is about..." Kanye West



Lately...

I've been pondering the idea of what it means to clasp hands in public places and
carry on conversations questioning Barack's foreign policies, and tensions in Palenstine...
Been wanting to run my fingers through rough tangled curls on smooth brown skin...
Sat back and actually contemplated the possibility of butterflies fluttering in the pit of my stomach... Jumping up and leaping forth from my mouth as I speak in his direction...



Lately...

On some not too isolated humid night, when its raining or when its sunny, and its as if God herself is smiling down on me, hot and bursting with light... or when I come from some workout watching dreamy eyed folks walk hand in hand with no knowledge of anyone else outside of each other...Their gait and their hearts beating in the same weird syncopation... Hands clasped and smiling... For they're beyond the world I live in... floating pass me on some invisible cloud of which I can only hope for...



And Lately...

Because "lately keeps" happening all the time in moments such as these... I stand there humbly, my feet firmly affixed to the ground watching lovers saunter over dirty asphault as if its a ballroom dance floor, I become completely aware of my reality and my singularity in it; and I began pondering what it must feel like...



What it must really feel like... To be in LOVE...



Gee, I wish I knew... :-( / :-)



Akua

Bringing a Little of the Old to the New...

My facebook page has been defunct for a year now. I got off because I was going through some major turmoil in my life and needed to escape from the one place I was so used to entertaining and being entertained by: The world. I needed some solitude, and a moment to be away; never thinking that my temporary hiatus would turn into an indefinite silence. I've let it go, and suprisingly I don't miss the social voyuerism aspect of it in the least. It's nice not to know what such and such is doing, reading line for line, surveying new photos with awe and cyber text; it actually gives you the oppurtunity to do the forgotten, call and hear a voice for hours, to engage in the act of physically placing your arms around someone in that forgotten embrace none as a hug... I've come to the realization that I was so caught up in the cyber matrix, that I forgot that life wasn't just about "lol's", "gtfoh's", and "im's". It was time to embrace life again, hold on wide-eyed to long authentic discussions and explorations into the heart. Im at a place in my existence where I don't want the world to know my name, see my face, I have no need to have people ponder over me anymore, my narcissitic days are over... And boy did I have some...

I just want those who need to know me, to know my heart, understanding that I am human, and thus inextricably flawed, but dammit I'm trying my best...  To be better, to be more authentic, to correct the worst in me. So in the next couple of posts, I may share some of my old writings off of FB, the ones that express some of the thoughts I discuss in this blog... The ones which still have  meaning and hold substance in my now little, isolated, miniscule world; My small piece of sanity and sanctity called Life...

Akua

My Brethren, My Sun... Bae...

Akua, One of many Recovering Undercover Over Lovers...

My Brethren...
I was there before before...
I saw your spirit in the rising of the Sun,
breathing, panting, cascading over unto my damp bossom...
Heavy with our tears... Soaked in our love...


My Sun...
Surely you were meant to reflect yours rays
on the coolness of my midnight marauder skin...

Flowing like Heaven, upstream like the Nile...
We were made to reflect the light of each other,
You see, it was written before before...


Bae...
How your spirit moves up and out of me...
Through me...
I finally understand the fullness of this...


Of You...


Of I...  


Us...